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Weddings: Interfaith Wedding Rabbi
Some Information about the various faiths which should be known by couples when deciding to marry:
Many things that both Jews and Christians believe are Jewish in a wedding ceremony(prayer shawl (or tallit), Chuppah (or canopy), breaking the of the glass at the end of the ceremony and other practices are really symbolic and not law. The only truly Jewish practice is singing of the Seven Wedding Blessings in Hebrew, which I do at every wedding.
Marriage between Christian and Jew has become more and more accepted over the past thirty years. It is Rabbi Allen's very strong belief that there is only one all-embracing Supreme Being, no matter what your religion or branch of Christianity and Judaism. Rabbi Allen's motto comes from the sacred literature: 'Words that come from the heart enter the heart.' His belief is that God is One. To say it more simply, There are many paths to God, but there is no single path.
Rabbi Allen was ordained in 1998 and is licensed to conduct marriages conforming with the laws all fifty United States. Rabbi Allen possesses the skills, through years of study, wherein couples of Jewish and various Christian as well as Hindu, Sikh, and other Eastern faiths can become one in a moving and very personal public declaration of love.
As opposed to Judaism, there are many branches of Christianity. To name but a few, there are Catholic (with the Pope as the ultimate authority), Anglican, Episcopal, Methodist, Protestant, Baptist and many others – too many to name – as well as offshoots of those mentioned. All have a ruling body to dictate what their marriage practices must be. Compare that to Judaism, where there are no such ruling bodies to dictate what can and cannot be done.
Within Judaism there are three main branches: Orthodox, Conservative and Reform. Within these three all believe in the same Supreme Being, but there is no one overall authority. Synagogue Boards of Trustees decide what their rabbis can and cannot do. And each Synagogue has its own ruling body.
In the Jewish community it is the desire that Jew marry Jew, but there is no interdiction of Ecumenical/Interfaith Marriage. As a matter of fact, over the last thirty years, Interfaith ceremonies have taken place more than 60% of the time. Rabbi Allen's ceremonies, written especially and individually for each couple, have been called, 'Unforgettable, beautiful and inspiring.' They are written in a sensitive manner that joins two faiths in joyous union rather than dividing them.
While the symbolic Jewish roots of one partner are maintained within the ceremony, portions of the other partner's heritage are also woven into the wedding ceremony, through language sensitized to the universal element in all of us. Our empathy transcends our differences and makes us one people and family of God.
For more than four decades Rabbi Allen has been able to internalize, and still understsands your needs. Through this understanding he can create a beautiful, meaningful and spiritual Ecumenical wedding ceremony for you. In language sensitive to all faiths, and combining both of your traditions, Rabbi Allen's caring, warmth and humor will assure that your ceremony will be a joyous and memorable day for you to treasure in the years to come.
Having sung Opera internationally for twenty-two years, his singing of the traditional 'Sheva B'rachot' (Seven Wedding Blessings) have often been called the 'highlight of the ceremony.' Principally serving Pennsylvania, New York, New Jersey, Delaware; also from Canada to the Caribbean, New York to California and all of Europe, multi-lingually, in English, Hebrew, French, German, Italian and Spanish.
You might well ask, "Rabbi, why do you do Interfaith weddings? I thought rabbis only did Jewish weddings." The answer is quite long, just as my journey through life brought me to this part of my life where I can serve all people no matter what their religion. You see, "Rabbi" is just a title; what you do with that title defines it and means far more.
My parents and I lived in the same house as my grandparents. My grandparents were Orthodox Jews and I was raised in the same manner that my grandfather and grandmother were. I actually wanted to go to Hebrew school and started when I was four years old, the youngest child in the class. That Hebrew school was not like the ones you can find today. It was two hours of study for all the days of the week the exception of the Sabbath. On the Sabbath it was a special prayer time - long services on Saturday morning. I also love to sing and have been singing since I was two years old. It seemed only natural that by the time I was seven years old, the Cantor of the Synagogue asked me to be his boy soprano in his three voice choir. I have been singing in the synagogue ever since. First I learned the Orthodox musical literature. When my parents moved to another part of Rochester, New York they joined a Conservative congregation and I joined the choir. As soon as my voice changed I became the bass soloist. Then I had the opportunity of learning the Conservative musical literature and practices.
At the age of thirty years I was offered my first cantorial position in a Reform congregation and once again I had to learn the Reform musical literature. But this time it was different; I stood on the pulpit and sang the prayers and had my own choir.
A perfect world does not exist such a world would be quite different from the real world in which we live; many families have a very difficult time when their child chooses someone who is not of the same religion of the parents.
A successful marriage is one in which both partners work together to ensure a long-lasting union. Husband and wife must be like gears in a well-oiled machine. In addition, this involves not just the merging of two people's lives into one, but hopefully the merging of their respective families. Therefore, a special sensitivity, each for the other, is needed.
Rabbi Allen understands the need to reach out with sensitivity - to bride and groom and their extended families. He is sensitized to their feelings learned through many years of working in this field. One of the many ways he is successful is by his conducting Premarital Counseling, offering up to six hours and sometimes longer. Each couple is given individual counseling and, by the time the couple has finished, they know that when Rabbi Allen marries them, they will become part of his extended family. His record is admirable. Only two couples that he knows of, who were married by him, you have become divorced.
People fall in love every day; but for some making a commitment to marriage is more difficult than others. Why is this? Because the two may not be of the same faith. In Interfaith romantic relationships, the families or other loved ones may not be helpful in planning the marriage. Those other people may also not be enthusiastic about you spending your life with someone of another faith. Rabbi Allen has often been asked to intervene with one family or the other when these disagreements arise. If you are looking for interfaith relationship help, Rabbi
Allen can assist. Ordained as a rabbi in 1998, Rabbi Allen has performed many different types of Interfaith weddings and commitment ceremonies. If you would like to incorporate traditions like being married under a canopy (Chuppah), sharing of wine or breaking of a glass (all of which are traditions, not Jewish law), this can easily be arranged. Actually, the Seven Wedding Blessings are the only truly Jewish part of an Ecumenical Ceremony. An Interfaith wedding rabbi, like Rabbi Allen, integrates these traditions. If you would like to include Protestant or Catholic traditions or would like him to co-officiate at your wedding, this can be arranged as well. In addition to interfaith weddings, Rabbi Allen can help plan and will officiate at gay commitment ceremonies. Learn more about that below.
Overtly religious weddings can be very intimidating for those who do not attend church or synagogue regularly. If you have not been raised with a religious background or have lapsed in your faith, you can still plan a ceremony with traditional elements. Including a Kiddish cup to symbolize life, or including a wedding canopy or chuppah to symbolize the home you are building are neat aspects to add to your nondenominational wedding ceremony. In addition, you can focus the nuptials on the exchanging of the rings, which is the focus of Jewish weddings, rather than on the exchanging of vows, the focus of Catholic ceremonies. Whether you want to include a few traditions from your past or want to create a wedding that is truly your own, Rabbi Allen can help you. Alternative weddings can be spiritual even if they are not religious in character. Wedding ceremony decisions are very important as you will remember this day for the rest of your life. If you have questions or need help, simply contact Rabbi Allen about your day!
Joining two different belief systems is very similar to the joining of a man and woman in marriage. So your wedding ceremony should include pieces of each person's heritage. Some ministers prefer to avoid interfaith weddings because of the different belief systems, but Rabbi Allen is different. Rather than focusing on the differences, Rabbi Allen can help plan intercultural weddings that highlight the similarities and love between the engaged couple. Bring pieces of family history or traditions from your home church or synagogue into your new life! Whether you are in love with a person from another part of the world or simply another part of your city, the differences between you can be vast. Intercultural romantic relationships are not an easy thing to manage, so each person must make a commitment to work through problems as they arise. Taking part in a counseling session prior to the wedding with Rabbi Allen will help you see those differences, embrace them and carry on with your life. Interfaith weddings and intercultural romances can be beautiful, with help from the right rabbi. Let us help you plan for the rest of your life!
Men and women with very similar backgrounds can sometimes have trouble in a relationship. Intercultural romantic relationships can be even harder because of the disparity between two cultures. So it is no surprise that before getting married, many ministers and rabbis conduct premarital counseling sessions. These sessions are not moments where one party will be wrong or right, but rather ways of determining where the parties will need to bend to accommodate another person. If you're planning intercultural weddings, contact Rabbi Allen, an interfaith wedding Rabbi, for information about planning a beautiful, custom ceremony and signing up for premarital counseling.
How the children will be raised, how the finances will be handled and what you both expect from a marriage are areas that should be talked about prior to the wedding day. An interfaith wedding rabbi can help join your two individual persons with your different faiths. Talking about the differences between you as well as the similarities are ways that counseling can help prepare for the future. For interfaith relationship help and counseling, you have come to the right place. Simply contact Rabbi Allen for help with intercultural romantic relationships.
Rabbi Allen chooses to begin an Interfaith ceremony with words of gathering and welcome, in which he points out that while all present may be of different faith backgrounds, we are all called upon, supporting the bride and groom, to be "one family, one community and one people of God."
A nondenominational invocation of this sort will encompass all of the faiths represented at the ceremony, not just faith of the bride or groom. In some cases, you will be joining cultures in addition to faith and this type of invitation can also help to ease the different aspects of the cultures represented at the ceremony. Jewish-Christian intermarriage is becoming accepted but both faiths should be represented equally at events such as weddings.
If conversion to a different faith is not for you, but you cannot envision your life living apart from your boyfriend or girlfriend, an interfaith wedding rabbi can help you make some tough decisions. Without conversion, are you willing to accept the other person's faith, to support that faith and come to a compromise as to how children will be raised in the household? If you answered yes to these questions, you are on your way to determine that an inter-faith marriage is the right decision for your. Rabbi Allen offers assistance in planning an inter-faith wedding as well as interfaith relationship help before the big day.
While planning the wedding, you will want to ensure that everyone present is comfortable with the proceedings. This is where a non denominational invocation is key. No matter what faith members of the bridal party, guests or family members are, a non-denominational opening will hopefully encompass their spirituality. Other traditions from different faiths can also be included in the ceremony so that the Jewish-Christian intermarriage ceremony is touching, spiritual and personal for everyone involved.
In Judaism, both men and women are considered to be incomplete when they are single. Until they have found a lifelong mate, some in their community will see them as one half of a whole person. While many modern-day men and women scoff at this type of thinking, most would agree that finding a mate will change your life in myriad ways. If you have found your life mate and are planning to marry, you have come to a great place for information on a Jewish wedding ceremony. A traditional program may have the following elements:
There are only a few elements of traditional Jewish wedding rituals. You may wish to include one or more of these rituals or you may wish to create something unique to you and your mate. If so, please know that I do custom weddings in addition to traditional faith and interfaith ceremonies.
The life of Rabbi Allen has developed as that of a servant to other people. After singing in synagogue as a child and later becoming a cantor, Rabbi Allen was ordained a rabbi in 1998. While he has retired from the pulpit, the rabbi still officiates at many weddings and commitment ceremonies. Because he is interested in helping both Jewish and interfaith couples, he writes the Interfaith, Jewish wedding ceremony, Nondenominational or Civil ceremony specifically for the couple. Rather than taking a few generic passages, Rabbi Allen works closely with the bride and groom to tailor the wedding ceremony program to their tastes. This way, your feelings for one another will shine through on the day you say I do. Custom weddings are a great idea no matter where you are on your faith and love journey. Imagine including Jewish wedding blessings that are special to you both, chanting or singing of songs that are close to your heart and exchanging vows that you wrote. These are wonderful ways to share your love with one another and the special guests are your marriage.
Whether active in your faith or lax, many couples prefer to include religious aspects in their marriage ceremony. Rabbi Allen has received countless requests from Interfaith couples to have a Jewish ceremony! That may include traditions such as the Jewish wedding breaking of glass at the end of the wedding or the inclusion of favorite music during the ceremony. Even with these Jewish wedding traditions, there is room for individuality. A good way to include your own insight and personality into a traditional wedding is to write Jewish wedding vows. When the rings are exchanged, your words will bond you to your spouse. Isn't that a fitting way to begin your new life?
If you are converting to Judaism just prior to your marriage then you may be unfamiliar with many traditions within the faith. For instance writing a Ketubah, or marriage document. Rabbi Allen can help you write this document which is a kind of contract between the bride and groom. If needed, the rabbi will also assist in writing traditional or modern Jewish wedding vows. In Judaism, the exchange of rings is the central part of the ceremony which is why many couples prefer writing their own vows. Writing them enhances the tradition, making it very unique to your specific marriage. A Jewish wedding ceremony is filled with wonderful traditions, but you can put your own signature on the event!
Traditionally, a Jewish wedding has been incomplete if the groom did not break a glass at the end of the ceremony. This is a very fun and integral part of many ceremonies, but did you know that the origins of the tradition are unknown? One theory is that in ancient times, a glass was broken when celebrants began to get out of hand. This reminded them to keep their composure. Some say the broken pieces are to remind us of the broken pieces of creation. Finally, there is a wives tale that says the broken pieces equal the number of years the marriage will last. Whatever your feelings on the matter, the Jewish wedding breaking of glass tradition is an integral part of the ceremony.
Offering yourself in marriage is the most frightening step many people will take. A marriage lasts longer than a school or career choice and is that final step in the growing up process. For that reason, there are many traditional trappings in the ceremony itself. Some Jewish wedding traditions include exchanging rings and vows, reciting or singing the Hebrew Seven Blessings, wearing head coverings (kipot) and breaking the glass at the end of the ceremony. Including Jewish wedding blessings or any of these traditional things in Jewish wedding ceremonies will add a special touch to your day.
Rather than an attempt to exclude anyone present at your marriage, Jewish wedding traditions are very inclusive. Sharing your love through the recitation of vows and exchange of the rings is a beautiful sight to most guests, and including a Chuppah, head coverings and the breaking of glass will bring back special memories for them. In addition to putting your guests at ease, by including these Jewish wedding rituals, you are including your own marriage with those long-lasting unions from the past.
When planning the future, looking to the past can help determine how you would like your life to be. However, without someone to help in the planning you may forget those personal touches. Rabbi Allen is here not only to officiate but to help in writing Jewish wedding ceremonies. Rather than inserting names in a generic Jewish wedding ceremony, the rabbi will meet with the bride and groom to tailor it to their tastes. In this way, you aren't simply getting married, but making a very personal pledge to your mate. The best Jewish wedding will have your heart at the heart of the ceremony.
Rabbi Allen will help determine what scriptural readings best match your personality, what songs would highlight the day and which Jewish wedding rituals should be included. He will also conduct premarital counseling with the parties to help defer any future conflicts. Marriage is hard and joining two faiths or cultures can make it more difficult. When planning the best Jewish wedding, don't forget to plan for the future as well.
Many couples have prayers sung or recited during their marriage to symbolize their love and faith. The Jewish wedding blessings are very similar to other prayers but are also vastly different. Sung or recited under the marriage canopy, or Chuppah, this series of blessing passages are more than tradition. They are a way to show your faith and your hope for the future to your guests. With operatic training, Rabbi Allen's singing voice will touch the gathered guests with the singing of the traditional Hebrew Seven Blessing. In addition to this ritual, sharing wine, exchanging rings and reciting unique Jewish wedding vows to one another are integral parts of a traditional Jewish wedding ceremony. Whether you practice the faith regularly or simply want to include these traditions from your past in the celebration, you will find the inclusion of traditional elements to be the highlight of the day. Elements of a Jewish wedding ceremony, whether Orthodox or modern, conservatively traditional or more loosely based on the religion, including a few traditional elements in the marriage celebration will create a well-rounded day and point to a blessed future. That is because these traditions are symbols of the bigger picture of your life. Sharing wine symbolizes the cup of life, saying the Jewish wedding blessings under the Chuppah symbolizes the home you will establish from marriage and the breaking of glass symbolizes that problems may arise in the future but that you can conquer these challenges. When planning your Jewish wedding ceremony, do not leave these elements out because you want a more modern approach. Traditions such as these will blend well with more modern music or readings perfectly.
There are many things that a wedding planner can help you with. They can help determine the wedding ceremony program, the color scheme of dresses, invitations and tuxedo trappings. Planners will determine the type of food and dessert or cake that should be served at the reception. A planner can also help determine where the reception should be held and the different decorations for the hall and the church or synagogue. A planner, however, cannot help you to write your vows or determine ceremonial readings as well as a rabbi can. Some favorite ceremony readings for weddings are from the Old Testament and include passages from:
In an interfaith wedding, passages from the New Testament book of 1st Corinthians may also be included. In addition to the reading, custom weddings will include music that is special to the bride and groom. The traditional wedding march or Pachelbel's Canon in D are two favorites.
Some traditions to include in your wedding are the sharing of wine to symbolize the cup of life, the Hebrew Seven Blessings and standing under a canopy, or chuppah, that will symbolize the new home of the bride and groom. The breaking of glass and wearing head coverings are also Jewish wedding ceremony traditions that many couples choose to include in custom weddings. Writing individual vows is a lovely tradition that you and your guests will love. Personally writing your hopes, dreams and promises and then reciting them for your spouse is simply beautiful. If you are having trouble writing vows or deciding on ceremony readings for weddings, let Rabbi Allen help you make the decision. As a matter of fact, Rabbi Allen sends each couple a list of suggested readings of all kinds. He also sends couples explanations of the traditions they will have. A retired rabbi, Rabbi Allen has officiated and co-officiated at many different types of ceremonies. Serving people and assisting them is his passion. Let that passion carry through to your wedding!
Just like choosing the marriage officiants, the color scheme of your bridal entourage, choosing the right words for the invitation and choosing the right reception hall, determining what should be said during the ceremony is a very personal decision. There are many couples who want very traditional jewish wedding ceremony recitations in the wedding ceremony program, but there are just as many who want to choose poems, bible verses or stories that have a more private meaning. Wherever you fall in the range of brides and grooms, Rabbi Allen can help you choose exactly the right words to convey your love of one another and your hopes for the future to the honored guests. In addition to joining to one another, you will be joining your extended families and sometimes those culture clashes can be hard to handle. The right wedding ceremony wording may help to diffuse potentially tricky situations with extended familial and cultural relationships.
There are a million ways to say "I love you". There are just as many ways that those words will be misinterpreted, so getting the verses correct is crucial. In today's small world, cultural differences can be hard to overcome, especially when two people from different cultures are going against tradition by intermarrying. Meeting all of the parties and choosing the right wedding ceremony wording will help diffuse any potentially tense situations. If you need helping determining what to say and how to say it, let Rabbi Allen help you decide. He has officiated at weddings in many different countries, joining together different ethnic groups and cultures. Let your love become a beautiful beacon to family members and friends with a personal wedding ceremony program.
Many synagogues or churches prefer that your marriage be officiated by their sitting rabbi or minister. However, some will allow marriage officiants from outside their specific location. In addition, many couples are deciding on alternative locations - hotels, the beach or outdoor locations - to hold their custom weddings. In these cases you will need marriage officiants willing to travel to that location to perform the ceremony.
As a retired rabbi, Rabbi Allen is willing to travel to officiate at your wedding. This is because he has a heart for service to his community. In addition, he has no problems with assisting in interfaith wedding ceremony. Readings, music and traditions are important parts of your service, but having an official who is willing to accommodate your needs will help put your mind at ease before the big day. For a sample wedding ceremony, contact him today!
Your marriage should begin by acknowledging your faith, but that acknowledgement should not make guests or family members uncomfortable. When two different cultures are joined through marriage, discomfort is a possibility. That is why Rabbi Allen works with you to create a wedding homily, or sermon, that will encompass the aspects that make your faiths and cultures different but that also create a symbiotic whole person. Learn more about these wedding ceremony readings and Jewish wedding ceremony examples below.
Before deciding what to include in your celebration, you should read through several different wedding homily possibilities. Seeing how others of your faith have merged their faith with their loves is a very enlightening experience. This can also help you determine what traditions and rituals to include when two people of different faiths are joined together in marriage. Rabbi Allen has sample wedding ceremony outlines available. Simply contact him for more information.
There are many traditions and customs in the Western world that have become a kind of joke in modern culture. For example, did you know that the white dress was not a symbol of virginity? Many make jokes about white weddings and virginity, but in fact, the color of white merely symbolized purity - a kind heart and a good natured soul - during the Victorian period. Virginity was actually noted by wearing a face veil. Both traditional and alternative weddings today usually include wearing a white dress or light colored suit, but this isn't necessary. It is also considered good luck to follow the tradition of carrying something old/new/blue/borrowed. None of these things must be included in any wedding, however. The only thing that the wedding ceremony needs is two people committed to working together for the rest of their lives. If you are planning a traditional wedding or gay commitment ceremonies, Rabbi Allen will help you choose the readings, music and traditions that will help you create a picture perfect day.
Planning a gay and lesbian commitment ceremony takes just as much time as planning a traditional wedding ceremony. You need to rent a hall, plan the reception, write the vows and find a church, minister or legal official willing to officiate or host gay commitment ceremonies. You also need to determine if you want a religious or non-religious ceremony. Whatever your plans, Rabbi Allen will help you make the plans and choose the right readings and music. Committing yourself to another human being is a huge step so some pre-counseling may be warranted. In addition to alternative weddings, Rabbi Allen will officiate at Jewish and interfaith weddings. Celebrate your life and love!
Traditional weddings are actually very similar to commitment ceremonies. The main difference is that rather than being a legally binding service between a man and woman, the gay and lesbian commitment ceremony is a public affirmation to one another. Because lesbian, gay or transgender couples are not allowed, in many states and countries, to marry under the law this alternative weddings celebration is becoming widely accepted. The celebration may include religious readings that are special to the couple, may include traditions like breaking glass, standing under a canopy or exchanging rings or it may be a very loosely structured event that is unique to the couple.
Many times what is included is up to the officiating minister. In the case of Rabbi Allen, he will work closely with the couple to determine what traditional aspects, if any, should be included. This way the ceremony will be special to the couple. You can learn more about traditional aspects of many celebration programs below.
There are many aspects of commitment ceremonies that are very similar to traditional weddings. Guests and the wedding party will be greeted, the couple will exchange vows, there may be religious or spiritual readings and music, the couple will exchange rings and will be pronounced a married or committed couple. If you would like your gay or lesbian commitment ceremony to be a bit more unique, there are ways to tweak these traditions. You could choose a modern song that is special to you both or choose classical pieces that fit more with your personalities. One big thing you can do is write your own vows. Rather than repeated what the rabbi or minister tells you to, writing a poem or promise to your partner is a touching way to show how you feel about spending the rest of your life in this new partnership. Much like interfaith weddings, a commitment ceremony can be tailored to the beliefs, desires, and wishes of the loving couple.